Sunday, February 17, 2013

Things that Dual says... probably not exactly safe for work? or kids?

I love Dual.

Holy hell, do I love Dual. He's like a therapist and masseuse and cook and provider and protector and encourager, overall sexy beast, and absolutely unpredictably funny. Like make you spit out water because you did NOT see that one coming funny. And sometimes he says things that are so damn funny that I laugh to myself all day like a crazy person but no one really looks at me that strangely because I am an ACTUAL crazy person, so they are more just like "There goes Angela again. Laughing at something no one else can see or hear inside her head. I hope she took her meds today. I'm going to sit over here just in case..."

So here are only a few of the gems he has hit me with just in the past week.

(After telling him that he is stuck with me for life)
"Yep...I'm stuck with you like old sperm in whore's belly button."

(After me telling him that he claims he isn't all that romantic, but he does some really sweet things and I consider him very romantic)
"Well, the sun shines on a dog's ass every now and then"

(In a text message to me at random)
"I know this is weird...but every time I come to Home Depot I have to poo"

(And after a conversation I can't even recall)
"Honey, if common sense was whipped cream, you wouldn't have enough to cover one nipple"

And this is about a week's worth. I keep a list in my phone called "Things Dual Says". I plan on this being a recurring series.

Valentine's Day...or as we like to call it...Thursday.

There was this Valentine's business that happened recently.

Don't misunderstand, I'm a total romantic and love romantic things. I love my husband and I love loving people. I'm just practically spewing love right out my ass I love everything so much.

But I'm not much for Valentine's day. Fortunately, neither is my husband. Plus we are like crazy broke, so there's also that. I do not have any problem with couples that make a big deal out of it. I love that. I don't have a problem with Singles Awareness Day or whatever you want to call it. We just don't make a big deal that day. In fact, we probably go out of our way to NOT make a big deal.

"If you aren't telling her you love her, and showing her you love her, and acting like you love her all 364 other days of the year, then you don't need to do it today either."

And that is why I love him.

I did surprise myself this week a couple days before Thursday. After a particularly emotionally draining day I said to him "I just don't know what I would do without you!" And then I thought about it...I know exactly what I would do without him.

I would move on.

I would be strong like he showed me I can be. Not strong for him or because of him. Strong for me because he showed me that I am capable of that and I have my own strength. But not so strong that I block people out and miss out on their friendship and love. I would live life. I would continue to experience things. I would laugh and have fun and explore. I would do all the things he has shown me I can do. All the things he told me I have the inner strength to do. He isn't my strength to do those things, he just helped guide me to unlocking my own power.

If I didn't have him, I would be sad. I would miss him. But I would dust myself off and continue to be the kick ass woman I can be. For me. For my kids. For life. I would miss him, but he would haunt me forever if I sat around and moped. Which he also knows would be totally bad ass and I would love it.

My self worth is not defined by him. So what would I do without him...I would live harder and love harder and have no regrets. However long I DO get to be with him is a mystery, but every second is worth it. What would I do without him? Survive. Because he showed me that I can. My identity is not defined by him, but it is enhanced. I don't see that changing any time soon.

We are for sure a team he and I, him and me. We are a team. I love my team. And if ever I found myself without my teammate, I would remember all the things he showed me about being myself. Being independent, being strong, being loving, being courageous, being curious, being home no matter where I find myself. I was already all those things. He showed me how to unlock it. Come to think of it, he's like the damn Wizard of Oz.

The next day he greeted me at the door when I got home with my favorite beer already chilled and poured. That's love. Also, that is just awesomeness. So our Thursday was spent like any other. I went to work and came home to teach lessons. We went to bed absurdly early because we are old now, and we watched netflix. Probably something with lots of blood and ghosts because that is my favorite. So actually, that was his gift to me...blood and ghosts. Thanks baby! I love you a million!

The computer works again and so do I

So there is this thing that happens when your kids play on your computer ALL fracking day. They check their email and play their games, and I'm all "OK, my turn" and then they are all "MooooooOOOOm, you have your phone. Just use that." And then they sing along to all the songs on itunes and radio Disney for like an hour and I just can't stand those songs any more.

So then, you finally get to have your computer back one evening because the little dears decided that it was finally mom's turn. And you realize that it is mom's turn now because the computer no longer works. I mean, the computer itself works, but the charger is all effed so the battery is dead. And THEN, you realize that you have approximately 12 dollars in the whole world until the next pay which seems to be about 2 weeks away (yes, do the math on that. we are broke asses) and then you have to wait before you can buy a replacement charger.

So finally, said replacement charger has arrived! And I am here! back to writing down all the inane things that only I find interesting, humorous or moving, or just plain disturbing.

6 weeks into 2013 and So Now You Know is back. Better late than never.