Thursday, August 8, 2013

I do not like it in my house, I do not like this stupid mouse.

We have a damn mouse.

Most likely we have mice. But it’s hard to tell.

The mouse showed up when I was at the piano one day. That little rodent just took off right under my feet and ran under a cabinet. I didn’t freak out. Those sorts of things generally don’t bother me. But it is a little creepy and gross.

A few days later, me and Dual are in the kitchen and that damn thing shoots out from under our fridge and goes under the dishwasher. Damn it!! Still not that concerned, but entirely irritated at that little shit.

And so we arrive at a few weeks after that. All is quiet(ish) in the Doran house when a scream of horror movie caliber comes out of the girls’ room. I think one of them has probably shanked the other one so I got in there fast(ish). They are huddled on the bed as if the floor is the ocean and it’s Shark Week. It came out of their closet and went under the dresser this time. Now I’m trying to figure out how in the hell is this little thing getting all over the house. It is showing up everywhere.

This mouse is obviously getting to be quite at home with us and seems to know its way around pretty well. A few more days later and this time the screaming happens as all girls run from the room. Why? Because the damn mouse is just sitting on one of their beds. Granted, the beds don’t sit on frames because they kept shoving crap under there when it was time to clean their rooms so I took away the under bed option, but still…it was just kickin’ it on the damn bed.

So now I have freaked out children, and dogs too worthless to notice a mouse. I was also informed by my kids that mice are only disgusting unless they are pets. Because their cousins have pet mice but that is totally different because those are cute and don’t sleep in beds. OK. Whatever. I finally consent to traps but only if they are humane, no kill traps. After the squirrel fiasco I just wanted to get it out of the house.

Now this mouse is under the impression that it lives here apparently. We were sitting in our kitchen one morning, just minding our business when that damn mouse sort of strutted out from under the fridge and just walked under the dishwasher. I half expected it to stop and have coffee with us, or maybe I should apologize for waking him up so early.

 Dual finally overruled my no-kill traps and set up the real deal. So now we have basically just set up a nightly buffet for it. I think we have given up trying to kill it. Right now I’m just giving in and building him one of those fancy mouse holes like on Tom and Jerry. I’m kind of starting to respect the little guy.