Sunday, November 25, 2012

Ink and Needles. Cheaper than my Therapist

OK! So I got another tattoo!

Also, I think we are finally finally FINALLY going to get this back piece covered. It literally feels like a monkey on my back. Never ever ever put someone’s name on you. Lesson learned universe. Especially not when that person is a tool.
Anyhow, in 3 weeks you should be seeing an exciting new piece involving some branches and lilies and dark twisty vines…you know, everything I love. And maybe a spider. Because spiders are my favorite. This (the piece I just got and the back) is all part of what will eventually become a full sleeve. It’s pretty much mapped out. Every segment is meaningful in some way, symbolic in some way, and not in any way someone’s name. Not at all. Not even a little.
A little more about the two new pieces. Wait…I said one before didn’t I? Two. I meant two. One is super tiny so I think it doesn’t count. The first is a bracelet. The floral work and the vines are what will connect all the different pieces of the whole sleeve together. I love the organic feel. And it is kind of reminiscent of the henna wedding tattoos.  Someone google that because I’m lazy. It says “Truth” which works in cooperation with my other wrist which says “Love”. To me, truth is the single most important trait a human being can possess. If you can’t be truthful, you can’t love. If you can’t love, you can’t be truthful. Love is truth. Always. Plus liars get their pants on fire.

The small phrase on my neck is my own handwriting. “All day. Everyday.” In our wedding vows my husband promised to love me “All day. Everyday.” It’s something he and I have both said for a while now regarding all kinds of things. But mostly not giving up. You work at it all day. Everyday. So it’s not a name, that way if ever there was a time when he became a tool I wouldn’t need to have it covered. It still means a lot. And it’s in my handwriting. Which I totally love. Because I’m kind of self absorbed. A little. Shut up I have personality disorders its not my fault dammit.

Also, I got a new piercing! Here are some pics. I’ll be around with new tat pics really soon!


Our Honeymoon! Some of it...

We had a honeymoon. Finally. After 3 months of being married, we finally got to be honeymooners! It was really like the first and only actual honeymoon I’ve ever had. And also it was the very best one probably, like, EVER. It’s not the “honeymoon” part was great, but just the whole thing was fun. And easy. And remarkably free of anyone yelling at me and telling me that I am a selfish bitch and a snob. (My vacations up to this point had kind of developed an oddly specific pattern in that way). Anyhow, we had one hell of a trip!

For starters, we were on the biggest baddest ship that Carnival has come up with so far. We kept getting off the elevator and accidently wandering into all kinds of new corners and places that we never knew existed. I kept thinking that eventually we would see it all, but there we were, inside a freaking full blown art museum or at an awesome bar or on some deck with some kind of private pool or up in the adult only relaxation deck. That place was awesome. Hammocks and real live fully padded reclining loungers. Also, there were these big circular couch/bed deals with pillows and tables next to everything. All for adults only. There were all these gazebos and the whole thing had this Hawaiian tiki theme to it. My favorite part of the adult only deck was when to grown ups decided to go ahead and have sex right there in the hot tub. In the middle of the day. Just right there in front of people. When I say “favorite” I mean “good god, make it stop! My eyes!”

 If ever there was a question of my man’s dedication to protecting me, that question was answered on this honeymoon. You see, I have myself one of these amazing country boys who is as much of a gentleman as they come. Pulling out chairs and opening doors and all that business. But when you mess with his family, you obviously haven’t met very many southern boys. We were in Jamaica on a fantastically beautiful beach. Open bar, music, sand, and food. Also lots of other aggressively American tourists. Way out in the water,  just before the line that wont let you swim out any farther, was an enormous inflated trampoline. And we were for sure going to be jumping on that.
It’s an awesome swim against the waves and then a pretty hefty climb up the side of the thing. I required a couple different strangers shove me up by the ass. I think a boob popped out at one point. Anyhow, multiple adults and a few teenagers were doing less jumping and more just laying around the edges. At one point I told Dual to help me back flip off the side. He was more than happy to throw me 6 feet over the side. Anyhow, this little maneuver allowed “’Merica’” (a scragley little teen thing wearing unfortunately patriotic swim shorts) to feel comfortable enough to try the same thing.
Bad idea. ‘Merica was about 2 steps from me when everything went into slow motion. I saw the kid’s hands reach for my ankles in an attempt to merrily flip me over the edge. Apparently Dual gave ‘Merica some kind of warning but I never heard it. But 2 slow motion seconds later and ‘Merica’s hands had just touched my leg stubble from the spot I missed shaving and WHooooosh…BAM!
I see my man from the corner of my eye come up off the side of the trampoline, shoulder check the kid right in the chest and push him all the way across the trampoline like a tackling dummy before knocking him to his back and holding him down with one arm and a knee. And then he says/roars, “DO NOT TOUCH MY WIFE!”…and then we all froze…for like…a long time…and no one was moving…so I finally said… “Well, I guess the moral of the story here is don’t touch Dual’s wife, right? Ha ha ha…ha” And then everyone left us alone on the trampoline. It was the most romantic thing ever. I love him!
There are about a milliondy-two more stories but I will try to pace them out. Until then, enjoy the slide show! And if you are on my Facebook soon, enjoy all of the pictures with more explanation. For example: When you get to the part of the slide show where you can’t figure out why there are so many pictures of me eating, its because Dual figured out the sports action auto snap feature thing which takes like 50 pictures in a row. There are also a few awesome videos but I’m supposed to “edit out the weird parts” and “do not show that to people”. Also, please ignore that I am somewhat less than slim in these pictures. I was going through med changes dammit! And they puffed me up like a damn balloon!


Sunday, November 18, 2012

So Now you Know

I have been up to things. So many things. So many damn things. THINGS I tell you. In the meantime I became very blog neglectful which isn’t the first time this has happened and surely won’t be the last. I have to live life to write about it, right? Write, right? So allow me to make a little on-line to do list. Which probably ensures that I will never get around to actually writing about these things.

I want to tell you all about our honeymoon! But I haven’t uploaded any of the pictures or video yet.

I want to tell you all about how when we got home, we discovered that we had the world’s worst house sitter who allowed our home to be ransacked and robbed. It’s been fun. Really. Seriously. Stole all kinds of things, but nothing obvious. It makes me feel icky. Every single drawer had hands run through it. Like, personal drawers…like personal things. And to know the antics that were had in my bed… more to come.

I want to tell you all about how I went 3 days med free thanks to the aforementioned stealing. Yes, psych meds are a hot street commodity. Never mind the fact that this crazy girl actually NEEDS them.

I want to tell you how I have been working and really doing well at it. I am working and playing and singing and teaching. I am back to what I know how to do. I am filling up all those holes.

I want to tell you how much I am DREADING holidays. I just plain don’t like them. More specifically, any holiday from around Oct 31 to Jan 2. I think its just how many there are and how much pressure there is and how expensive it can be and I already have massive dips down into depression during the winter anyway.

I want to tell you how my sweet sweet husband scared the crap out of a 14 year old and kinda beat his ass just a little. Moral of the story: Don’t touch Dual’s wife. God I love that man. He is a partner. I didn’t know that there could be so much equality in a partnership and still feel so protected and safe and taken care of. I know, the 14 year old thing seems a little crazy…but I’ll tell you and then you can decide.

I want to tell you that our honeymoon included 300 Gayribbean Cruisers. It. Was. Fabulous!

I will tell you that so many things are going in directions that are emotionally exhausting. I will tell you that I am up and down. Hot and Cold. Yes and No. In then Out. And other Katy Perry references.

I will tell you that my 6 year old straight up dropped “s**t” on me. But then we I got on to her, she said she was only saying it because her sister said it. So double whammy on me as an awesome example. But to be honest, I’m not that concerned. Words are words, but 6 is still 6 and some words are only for grown-ups. We had a double time out and a reality check for mom. But I’d like to blame public school too.

I want tell you about how I have done a lot of mental housekeeping lately.

  I want to tell you about the spiritual journey that led me to a conclusion/place/safe haven/reality that I did NOT ever expect. I want to tell you how much it clicks. How much it fits. I’m afraid to tell you about it. But I will. It is part of me. I want to tell you of the people and community that has accepted me and healed me and changed me. I want to tell you…

I want to tell you of my absurd weight gain and I want to bitch about it for a while.

I want to tell you about my amazing new tattoos. Yes, plural. And the plans for the next two. Yes, plural. It is art and it is healing and it is FINALLY getting this damn X’s name off my back. I refuse to use my breathe to speak his name. I refuse to use my outlet to write his name. His name is not safe in my mouth. It is hurting. So his name on my body, my sacred place, is unacceptable. But I have been waiting for the exact right moment and exact right design. The stars and my artist and my body have not been aligned yet. This may finally be the time…

I want to tell you so much. I will tell you everything. I want to be transparent. I will be honest. I want to be accepted, but I will be myself. I want to be everything I am supposed to be. I will be Angela.

So Now You Know.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Did the honeymoon thing! It was the best vacation ever!

Came home to lots of things stolen from our house. Including many of my meds.

Other crappy crap going on this week too and without meds of all weeks.

I'll eventually get to it all.

But not today.  I'm not well. And I'm tired. And stressed. But I have a great tan.